Why

As I’ve mentioned before, English entertainment is a bit sparse here in Montpellier. So this afternoon I found myself snuggled on the couch reading the internet with Monica.

Sitting side by side reading various sites and talking about the articles – when I think about that it shows how much things have transformed over the last few years. I think that I only set-up my first email account ten years ago.

Miss M is just as entertaining to me as the various crazies that one finds posting around the internet. I think that she views parts of the internet like The Gerry Springer Show –you are a bit embarrassed for watching but… you keep coming back! My secret this afternoon was that I was able to remember when I was exactly like the lads that were causing her a bit of horror. I kept that part to myself but she’ll know now as she’s an avid reader of this sliver of cyberspace.

I was reading various posts about goals, resolutions, top ten lists – what hit me initially was the emotion, the passion behind some of the posts.

THIS IS THE YEAR WHERE I WILL FINALLY KILL MY BOSS

Well, the post wasn’t exactly like that but it wasn’t far off and often interpersonal relations are best left off a public forum. The holidays are an emotional time for folks, he probably had a tough day… that’s what I told myself at the time.

Later, when I was lying in bed. My mind wandered a bit and I started to think through what had sparked something inside me. So here goes…

I am regularly asked for my opinion by strangers on a wide range of topics. That can make me uncomfortable at times. Why? Because I know that the decisions that work for me probably won’t work for you. The secret isn't what we do -- the secret is doing what each of us must do.

When I hear about people following a path that is similar to my own, I feel a certain responsibility. Wondering if perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut. But I don’t, and I can’t… so I get up in the middle of the night and write.

As an aside, I have had a few folks ask me whether I would start doing podcasts of my blog. The answer, for now, is no. This writing is really for me. To clear my head of a few things and remind myself of things that I want to remember. That’s also why we won’t be turning on comments. I don’t really want to debate. I simply want to write and move along.

Also, if it was a podcast then the voice that you would be hearing is mine. Right now you are listening to yourself. One of the things that I like so much about writing is that I disappear once I’ve done my work.

Now I should be careful of reading too much into how a stranger’s “to do” list impacts me but I spent most of today on the couch with a sore throat and can’t seem to turn off my head.

A little over six years ago, I put together my first top ten list. I had come to the point that the previous ten years had been fun but that I hadn’t given much thought to what I wanted to do. I spent all my time moving ever upward and onward. I’ve written that out before – and my wife saved it – so perhaps I’ll publish that at some stage.

So I wrote out my list and proceeded to chip away at it. It worked really well for me and five years later… we’ll I found myself in Kauai with nothing left on that list. It took me nearly a month to come up with a replacement. Now how did that list go? I’m not really sure because one year in I’ve got exactly the same list.

Does that mean that I haven’t _done_ anything in the last year?

Actually, I’ve done quite a bit and I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve done. Previously, I’ve advised… figure out where you spend your time/money/energy; figure out what gives you satisfaction; and align the two as best you can.

Reasonable advice, I suppose. It’s worked very well for me.

In building our goals, our lists – I would also add that they are most useful in helping us gain an understanding of what motivates ourselves. What lies behind our lists, our plans, our daily lives?

That last point is a fundamental one. Part of the reason we should all take an annual break is to provide ourselves with some space to consider “why”.

While I haven’t crossed off anything in 2005, I have come to better understand the source of my desires as well as what motivates me. There’s also been a realization that our goals have no inherent value in themselves – the value comes from living our lives consistent with achieving them.

I’ve also come to realise that my most important goals are the most “grey” and that they’ll likely never be crossed off. On my first top ten list I only had one truly “grey” goal – and it was the last for me to solve.

My business partner tells me I think too much. He could be right – I’d certainly sleep better if I could turn my head off. There is a strong link between relaxation and exhaustion in my life.

One final thought – I was reading Cosmo the other day (wife’s copy, you know…) and they had a Top Ten list – something along the lines of “signs that it is time to dump your man before New Year’s”. Well, #6 or #7, was… he’s talking about training for an Ironman in June and it is only December…

You’ve been warned.